My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
