don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
