you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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