When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize