4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize