I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
