oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
