They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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