OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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