Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
