You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
