if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
