From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
