4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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