He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
