He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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