just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
