ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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