I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
