i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
