Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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