Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize