mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
