How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
