You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
