Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
