hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
