Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize