So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
