in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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