he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
