Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
