Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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