please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What a dumb baby whore.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
