I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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