I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
