at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
