I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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