did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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