the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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