Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
