Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
why is half of my head shaved?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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