Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize