At least make sure they are 18
Why
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
