I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
