Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize