Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i need an iv and a liver transplant
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
