i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
