Where are you?
In a non slutty way
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
