Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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