on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
