can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
