This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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