I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Come on in and take your pants off
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