I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
