I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
