There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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