so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
whose parrot is this?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
