I'm gonna have a badass scar
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
