I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Bring me that man meat
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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