I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and she was petting her beer can
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize