i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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