I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
