This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
