jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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