she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
