I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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