its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
