Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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