if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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