Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
