ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
