You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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