plz talk dirty to me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
