girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I want a musical about memes.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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