i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
