i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
