I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
