She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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