last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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