So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
