She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
