Fuck appropriateness.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
