not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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