you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
